Future

So I totally freaked out again about the future because I was thinking about how I didn't want any fashion stuff to be a lasting career, which I'm reconsidering now, and I was thinking more about speech pathology, which sounded interesting. But then I realized that not only would I be working with children, but also with old people who had strokes and things, and, to be completely honest, old people with physical signs of diseases and disorders like strokes make me really uncomfortable. So then I decided that writing would be my perfect career, and I then realized that it is really hard to get a million dollar book deal, but if that's all I can really shoot for, why not? So that makes me uneasy because I don't like uncertainty, but that's what the future is, no matter what you plan, so I better get used to it. I have no idea how to make my Glamour submission sound interesting since I have never had cancer or had a husband or child die from a freak tree accident. I mean, things that made me who I am today are my mom not making me freak out all the time, being retarded with Courtney and Sarah, and switching majors since it left me in the uncertainty mess that I am in today. I have no idea how any of those topics are more important that death and disease...plus terrible things and sad stuff sells way better.

Productive

I cleaned the stove top and the oven and the bathtub today. We're trying a new thing where we do one cleaning thing a day since everything is so messy or dirty because I can't clean everything by myself. So today I picked the stove/oven. The bathtub was just because I can't stand dirty bathtubs, and it wasn't really overwhelmingly dirty, but I figure you use it to clean yourself, so you can't do that if it is dirty. I also had a really good voice lesson, so I felt really productive. I have a lot to do in the next few weeks, but not really too much. Still looking for a housemate because I really don't want to move, but we'll see. I had a really good weekend, so I'm pretty happy. Now I just need to find time to go to the gym in the midst of all my work.

Yay!

My cousin had her baby! I am just so excited and it's so hard for me because I want to be there and visit and help, etc. I've also been kind of homesick recently so this isn't helping because I feel kinda out of the loop, relying on emails to let me know what's going on. I guess I feel like I went to New York, had my college adventure, and now I want to go home. I just can't wait for June!

weather

It's been raining/snowing for two days and might stop tomorrow. It's depressing, and it makes me not want to deal with school stuff anymore. Five weeks left!